this is phiphie aunt's house' bathroom.. basically the one i use.. haha.. just take for fun... :)

My new wallpaper!! its actually made up of all the items in WOW.. havent got the chance to play.. -shux- will do it after exam... I DONT CARE.. I'M COMING FOR WOW!! 

Exam's going to be over soon... i never realise that i havent blog for so looooooong.. ok maybe i realise it but i just didnt bother to blog... haha.. wasting internet space...

anyway, i have a new blog skin!!! tadah!! it's the chicken little theme with the very addictive song... err i dunno what's the name.. apparently, there's this singaporean singer who sang the chinese version of the song with some cockroach nemesis... she's another 'ocean' type singer who doesnt reveal her face in the album...

recent movies: tim yum goong, harry potter and the bla bla bla, exorcism of emily rose... yup, the last movie's kinda interesting even though i havent watch it yet... i just wonder sometimes why all these possession movies are linked to Chrisitianity (The Exorcist, Constantine etc etc).. You dont actually see posseseion movies from other religions.. (except for a brief moment in 'the eye 10',as far as i remember, where some monks try to exorcise some possesed girl in the beginning).. well, from the review, it's about a true story about some German girl named Michel who got possesed when she was in college... which basically means that, if you believe what's true in the 'true story', most of us here has a chance of being possesed... ?!

ask me if i believe in ghost? Yes. If i believe in possession? Yes. if i believe in Christians being possesed? well, no. Most people who are possesed are actually linked to some connection with the nether worlds.. from what i heard of, they fall into some trance or something and here's the worst part: the family actually thinks that it's a spiritual thing.. (no kidding.. i have a friend who's like that and the family refuse to exorcise her).. but most people who claimed that they can see 'stuff'... have some mental problems i believe.. even if there exist such people, possesion is still a far cry from seeing 'stuff'...

Back to emily.. even though it doenst pass my belief as a true story, it may be still entertaining.. haha.. must go and watch it somehow.. after the exam i guess... -huh- back to study.. f maths and s papers and chem p1..

tata people.. enjoy the tune.. -from the video i mean-...

my new cam :) 

lala 

what did i do???
there are moments in life when somethings just happened for no reason. well, actually it does have a reason just that i dont know what the reason is and sometimes it just gets on your nerves. esp when u're tired and u didnt get a good sleep last night with an abrasion at your balls.

it kinda reminded me of how full of grace our Lord must have been in order to be patient with us. yes, there are times when He was angry and i'm so grateful that if we can irritate Him until He's that angry, forgiveness is just a prayer away.

i cant imagine how He'd felt if He knew that He was going to get angry and yet, still smile with us and walk with us throughout our lives. heck u cant imgaine why on earth did He die for us. for one, He has no one to turn to and complain when His sons and daughters throw their tantrums at Him. He had nobody to confide about the things that He felt because no one would understand. His very own creation turn against Him.

*sigh* can i imagine? to a certain extent i think. after all, everything happened for a purpose.

so it's finally here.. my nightmare came true and i really dont want to argue about it. dont ever ask me why i panicked in the exam hall. dont ask me what's wrong with me or whatsoever. can someone just leave me in peace?!~~

i hate it when people ask me this and that about the results. yes yes i know i did badly this time. i feel bad already. do u have to add on to it?? it disappoints u yes, so it doesnt disappoint me? i feel happy that i have such a f up results? do i?

sometimes i just wonder why i always have to blog when i'm in such a down mood. cant i just spread some happiness to people or what.. where can i go to complain? teachers will tell me i need counselling, need help here and there, actually u can do it one, just u need to do more... etc etc.. mama and papa will say try harder next time, it's okay with them... though deep inside i know they're really quite worried...

*sigh* moses u should forget this... it's just a common test.. *sigh* sometimes schools only cut short people's life by giving them extra white hairs.. both teachers and students included... *sigh*

forget it.

-woohoo-!

Yo People...
It's been AEONS since i last updated the blog.. ok holiday's coming and life's been really kinda hectic... well, not like it's never been hectic before.

just had GP common test today and it really just sucks out all my brain juice... i dont know why.. but everytime GP is just so brain draining... well, at least it's over... it's the rest of the subjects now...

well, tomorrow's like the 2nd last day of school before i'm going off tp Msia and finally flying off to aussie for the first time...

somehow everything just seemed distant...

met up with my old church mates at some choir concert.. well, what can i say.. it's just a small world...

i find myself confused at certain points in time.. the dark side of me i suppose.. emotions have always been someting that i'm very weak towards and i'm learning to really master them well... it's not easy sometimes when things go wrong like having lousy results or whatsoever...

sigh... i just want to be happy!!! is that something too much to ask for?

i sound so complacent.. so unlike me.. so distant... what's happening?

tata people... enjoy ya day...

Updates
Loads have been happening... homework... wc3 screwing up my life... i'm at a lost... i really am..

i really want to go back to when i'm sec3... things wasnt as complicated... study.. and more study.. cocking up with people and making jokes... no wc3.. time cant go back... it's just day dream...

sigh.. things are in grey and i think that they'll stay like that for a while... i found that i really have no passion for anything actually.. it's just a sudden busrt of excitement when new things come along and eventually will die down...

everything's just so fake...

there's just one song in my head now and i cant find it's lyrics... well.. it's ok... there's always a bad day after all..

FINALLY OVER...
i know this is kinda late when common test is over like one week. yeap.. and it's always like that... when common test is near, its

"ooh, common test is here so i shan't blog.."

after common test its

"ooh yeah!! common test is over!! let's play.."

so blogging is left behind.. more like any other unimportant things are left behind... anyways.. blogging has never been a habit.. so i shant blog so much..

but there are really entertaining blogs.. some like http://cheekybynature.blogspot.com which i read it quite frequently.. haha.. it's just lame ans pure singaporean jokes but some of it are quite true..

yup yup... guess what day's tomorrow? i dont know.. why dont you tell me?
tata...

-bored-
yes... common test is not over and things arent going any better... it's been quite a while since i updated the blog.. it's just staaaaagnant for the moment...

things are not very good either... DOTA is screwing up everyone's life.. esp when it's near the exams... below is a scenario:

victor: eh moses, play DOTA le...
moses: dun want.. u play urself...
(victor played 6.01b by HIMSELF)... alone...

after 1.5 hr, he finally decides to stop playing...
boss: eh victor! want to play DOTA or not? i play with you..
victor: (wth face)... ok ok.. faster faster...

in the end, DOTA screwed up our time and biological clock, as well as the coming common tests... sigh...

what's com game gotta do with us anyways.. it's just so addictive and so enjoyable esp when it's some multiplayer like DOTA... abstinence... ah yes, a word that sounds so remote when it comes to com games... discipline... another one...

think we really should think about playing games... it'll always be ther as more games will come out and guys esp... will be drawn to it.. well.. naturally.. it's not just the 'bad for the eyes' or 'exam's coming' that's really important.. are we really wasting too much time on games? i mean.. i lived through my childhood without com games.. or any nintendos or whatsoever.. think it's much more meaningful with fun memories than playing games huh...

sigh... why am i even typing this... haha.. back to books.. and maybe.. DOTA later...

YEAP YEAP!!
i must say... they really did something to the network.. so i'm actually blogging in my room now... alrite.. this may sound incredulous to some singaporean but if you're a boarder and you've been living in RIB for a long time now, u'll be SHOCKED to see what i just typed...

it's IMPOSSIBLE to access wireless network in RIB before.. the sole purpose of the network is for intranet DOTA lanning... and perhaps some other multiplayer games.. but now, it's changed... or i hope it has... it may revert back to the time when connection to internet is the holy grail..

no matter what happened... i wont just abandon my blog... HMPH.. will keep it alive.. -yay- so anw, tmr there's physics test, and i think it will just be plain that i have to mug hard for it.. tho heard that it's kinda easy... but whatever it is, i'll try my best...

tata ppl... joy beyond words when i can access net... HERE..

-yeap-
i'm back at boarding again... was reall feelin sick yesterday and i'm correct... i'm still sick today.. and i got an mc last night so i'm resting in boarding today... well, this week i'm out of depression compared to last week, so i think i wont be so naggy and so complacent about things.. though i'm still out of sch.. haha..

anyways, visited the bakery just now... haha.. yes thank u sooooo much for acc me to the clinic.. though its really like super x.. haha.. i'm going to ger my refill soon when i go back for CNY... sigh... how come i spend money like water nowadays... cant understand... haha.. but nvm.. money is always not the problem... "problems that can be solved by money is not a problem at all"..

well yeah... just want to share a really good song with u all... sang by david tao.. not written by him though...

祷告之时 甘甜之时
使我离开 烦恼之时
来到神的 座前发表
所有意愿 所有需要
当我遇到 重压忧愁
我灵却常 得着自由
不陷恶者 所有布置
因为有你 祷告之时

祷告之时 甘甜之时
如有只翼 载我愿辞
来他宝座 向他求恳
他是信实 他是全真

他既命我 寻求他面
信他话语 靠他恩典
我要将我 重担卸释
在于你前 甘甜之时

i always think that chinese hymns are nicer than english hymns, maybe because of the language used... i cant really comprehend the language used by the writers then.. the song is so beautiful... it touches my heart and i promised myself i'll sing hymns like that instead of just sing for the sake of singing...

great leap great leap.. towards linear spaces and projectile motions.. haha.. and spa skill a...

tmr u're going off... have a great time there!!! will send u off... -tata-

Alright...
my blog may have attracted too much attention i think... but anyways, it's normal to have depression rite... glad to say that i'm back here.. now in one piece and really fine already..

though i'm down with a flu now and that i'm not feeling very well.. haha.. but probably just a small bug and will go away soon.. taken some medication and things will turn out fine...

yeap.. so anw, tmr's physics SPA... sigh.. i think we really need to go for a REAL spa after all these fake things... nvm lah... that'll take place maybe after As..

btw, GREAT LEAP 2005 by David Tao is SUPERB!! i cant say more of it and i love every song in it... haha.. esp the last hymn... it's just soooooo nice... :)

tata peeps... i'm out from the depression lah... :) -smile-

"i sure hope so..."
and i did... i dint go to sch today... feeling dizzy after last night... stuck down there, gazing into the dark, desperately trying to sleep... insomnia? why do u have to come up to me so often now? i didnt see u comin last year, the year before or even when i'm in sec sch... wth is ur problem?

think that i'm feeling more and more inferior each day, or perhaps... lower self esteem... "i feel like an idiot. stupid boy. immature freak." yes i do... and i cant help it...

i dont want my blog to be transformed into some depression centre where everything is sad and blue... but for these few days i suppose... i cant help it...

it feels like shit when there's something at your mouth but u just cant say it.. well.. u show it.. ppl ask... and i HATE it when some unnecasarry idiots try to poke and ask.. peeking and disturbing... i'll talk to them if i really want to.. why bother to ask? furthermore, they assume things to happen and make stupid conclusions that i have very serious problems that need to be solved by talking to me and asking me what happened... NO i am NOT referring to u... i'm referring to ppl who want to eavesdrop and those who are guessing who that 'u' is...

why is life like this? the people u want to talk to give up on u.. the people that u shun repeatedly come and pester u.. ?!

life goes on... life goes on...

-speechless-
today is totally speechless for me... i dont want to describe what happened whatsoever... it's just not a good day...

i suppose things really arent that well...

"I’m depressed over nothing. I’ve always ignored it and it just stayed there hovering on top of me."

i dont know why i'm depressed... i don't know what the hell happened today that i'm depressed... can someone be more sad than that? no it's not u... or whatever u're thinking.... i emphasis that it's not and things just happened after i met him at s11...

i came back to write a super long entry today.. in my journal... about 2 and a half pages long... and it took me an hour to sort out my thoughts.. and to realise that i dont want to study today... it just saps me... and i know that i'll only get more depressed after playin games... but i still go ahead with it..

"I really just want to play games and do work. I just want to lead a simple life. Lord, I don’t know why I have to go through all this. It’s harder than going through exams."

Moses... what are u going through?

i dont know... this thing that i'm in... i'm just depressed... today is a bad day.. i dont want to type everything here... ppl will see... u all can GUESS WHATEVER IT IS... but i just feel like shit today.. that's all u all need to know...

they say tomorrow will be better... I SURE HOPE SO.... i sure hope soo...

CCA...

that's just something that everyone has to join in JC... overheard some converstaion that day about some gal who wants to get A for CCA...

i was just wondering what's so important about getting these stuff? i mean... 3 S papers, freaking (and i mean FREAKING) hell lot of CCAs, council etc etc... what's the point? scholarship? what's the point of scholarship? get to good U? what's the point? earn more money when you come out?

sigh... went into some depression the other day.. nearly gave up on studying.. but i guess sometimes there are just angels around who picked us up and yeah.. we study because this is a process that He wants us to go through, and i suppose we want to do our best for Him and no one else...

what's the point of earning the whole wide world in the exchange of our soul?

and the ramblings go on...

So? How's orientation?

It rocks to the CORE!!! I LOVE A'PSTRAPHI!!! it's just sooooo fun and it really reminds me of my J1 years.... slacking through the first days.... cant really concentrate... i cant afford it now... it's just too expensive... i've been slumping into a depression again... it's been a long time since i slumped into such stupid mood and it's just plain laziness that's causing it all...

I've told you that you should do some work in your hols...

I KNOW... but guess what? holidays are over... WAKE UP MOSES... *ring ring* can you tell me how to catch up? ... ...

there's polar waiting for me, i havent start on matrices, got another compre to do before friday, integration assignment, alkene and alkane assignments... and no holidays soon so that i can catch up properly....

who are u trying to blame?

myself... for slacking through the hols... @#$%@#$%@

So?

So what? go back and study lah... #$%#$%

Happy New Year everybody... it's gonna be another long year ahead and i think that it's just going to go 'zoom' past me too fast, i wont even realise it...

anyways, met weien yesterday... talked about ministry next year... yes.. i know that somehow i have to commit more time to the church, but i also realise that i can serve in anywhere i am... things are just so icky sometimes there's no clear lines anywhere....

this year has been very busy and of course, i've met fantastic friends... in council, in class, in guitar... i want to cherish these friendships no matter where i go after this year... today's the first day.. and what's my new year resolution? to grow in Christ and to know Him better...

i suppose next year will be very fast and i wont be ever to treasure every moment... i really want to... it's my last year in high school... before i enter the ominous university... i just want to cherish every thing i have now... and freeze it into my memory so that it'll stay there til death do me apart... :D

yeap... happy new year ppl...