YEAP YEAP!!
i must say... they really did something to the network.. so i'm actually blogging in my room now... alrite.. this may sound incredulous to some singaporean but if you're a boarder and you've been living in RIB for a long time now, u'll be SHOCKED to see what i just typed...

it's IMPOSSIBLE to access wireless network in RIB before.. the sole purpose of the network is for intranet DOTA lanning... and perhaps some other multiplayer games.. but now, it's changed... or i hope it has... it may revert back to the time when connection to internet is the holy grail..

no matter what happened... i wont just abandon my blog... HMPH.. will keep it alive.. -yay- so anw, tmr there's physics test, and i think it will just be plain that i have to mug hard for it.. tho heard that it's kinda easy... but whatever it is, i'll try my best...

tata ppl... joy beyond words when i can access net... HERE..

-yeap-
i'm back at boarding again... was reall feelin sick yesterday and i'm correct... i'm still sick today.. and i got an mc last night so i'm resting in boarding today... well, this week i'm out of depression compared to last week, so i think i wont be so naggy and so complacent about things.. though i'm still out of sch.. haha..

anyways, visited the bakery just now... haha.. yes thank u sooooo much for acc me to the clinic.. though its really like super x.. haha.. i'm going to ger my refill soon when i go back for CNY... sigh... how come i spend money like water nowadays... cant understand... haha.. but nvm.. money is always not the problem... "problems that can be solved by money is not a problem at all"..

well yeah... just want to share a really good song with u all... sang by david tao.. not written by him though...

祷告之时 甘甜之时
使我离开 烦恼之时
来到神的 座前发表
所有意愿 所有需要
当我遇到 重压忧愁
我灵却常 得着自由
不陷恶者 所有布置
因为有你 祷告之时

祷告之时 甘甜之时
如有只翼 载我愿辞
来他宝座 向他求恳
他是信实 他是全真

他既命我 寻求他面
信他话语 靠他恩典
我要将我 重担卸释
在于你前 甘甜之时

i always think that chinese hymns are nicer than english hymns, maybe because of the language used... i cant really comprehend the language used by the writers then.. the song is so beautiful... it touches my heart and i promised myself i'll sing hymns like that instead of just sing for the sake of singing...

great leap great leap.. towards linear spaces and projectile motions.. haha.. and spa skill a...

tmr u're going off... have a great time there!!! will send u off... -tata-

Alright...
my blog may have attracted too much attention i think... but anyways, it's normal to have depression rite... glad to say that i'm back here.. now in one piece and really fine already..

though i'm down with a flu now and that i'm not feeling very well.. haha.. but probably just a small bug and will go away soon.. taken some medication and things will turn out fine...

yeap.. so anw, tmr's physics SPA... sigh.. i think we really need to go for a REAL spa after all these fake things... nvm lah... that'll take place maybe after As..

btw, GREAT LEAP 2005 by David Tao is SUPERB!! i cant say more of it and i love every song in it... haha.. esp the last hymn... it's just soooooo nice... :)

tata peeps... i'm out from the depression lah... :) -smile-

"i sure hope so..."
and i did... i dint go to sch today... feeling dizzy after last night... stuck down there, gazing into the dark, desperately trying to sleep... insomnia? why do u have to come up to me so often now? i didnt see u comin last year, the year before or even when i'm in sec sch... wth is ur problem?

think that i'm feeling more and more inferior each day, or perhaps... lower self esteem... "i feel like an idiot. stupid boy. immature freak." yes i do... and i cant help it...

i dont want my blog to be transformed into some depression centre where everything is sad and blue... but for these few days i suppose... i cant help it...

it feels like shit when there's something at your mouth but u just cant say it.. well.. u show it.. ppl ask... and i HATE it when some unnecasarry idiots try to poke and ask.. peeking and disturbing... i'll talk to them if i really want to.. why bother to ask? furthermore, they assume things to happen and make stupid conclusions that i have very serious problems that need to be solved by talking to me and asking me what happened... NO i am NOT referring to u... i'm referring to ppl who want to eavesdrop and those who are guessing who that 'u' is...

why is life like this? the people u want to talk to give up on u.. the people that u shun repeatedly come and pester u.. ?!

life goes on... life goes on...

-speechless-
today is totally speechless for me... i dont want to describe what happened whatsoever... it's just not a good day...

i suppose things really arent that well...

"I’m depressed over nothing. I’ve always ignored it and it just stayed there hovering on top of me."

i dont know why i'm depressed... i don't know what the hell happened today that i'm depressed... can someone be more sad than that? no it's not u... or whatever u're thinking.... i emphasis that it's not and things just happened after i met him at s11...

i came back to write a super long entry today.. in my journal... about 2 and a half pages long... and it took me an hour to sort out my thoughts.. and to realise that i dont want to study today... it just saps me... and i know that i'll only get more depressed after playin games... but i still go ahead with it..

"I really just want to play games and do work. I just want to lead a simple life. Lord, I don’t know why I have to go through all this. It’s harder than going through exams."

Moses... what are u going through?

i dont know... this thing that i'm in... i'm just depressed... today is a bad day.. i dont want to type everything here... ppl will see... u all can GUESS WHATEVER IT IS... but i just feel like shit today.. that's all u all need to know...

they say tomorrow will be better... I SURE HOPE SO.... i sure hope soo...

CCA...

that's just something that everyone has to join in JC... overheard some converstaion that day about some gal who wants to get A for CCA...

i was just wondering what's so important about getting these stuff? i mean... 3 S papers, freaking (and i mean FREAKING) hell lot of CCAs, council etc etc... what's the point? scholarship? what's the point of scholarship? get to good U? what's the point? earn more money when you come out?

sigh... went into some depression the other day.. nearly gave up on studying.. but i guess sometimes there are just angels around who picked us up and yeah.. we study because this is a process that He wants us to go through, and i suppose we want to do our best for Him and no one else...

what's the point of earning the whole wide world in the exchange of our soul?

and the ramblings go on...

So? How's orientation?

It rocks to the CORE!!! I LOVE A'PSTRAPHI!!! it's just sooooo fun and it really reminds me of my J1 years.... slacking through the first days.... cant really concentrate... i cant afford it now... it's just too expensive... i've been slumping into a depression again... it's been a long time since i slumped into such stupid mood and it's just plain laziness that's causing it all...

I've told you that you should do some work in your hols...

I KNOW... but guess what? holidays are over... WAKE UP MOSES... *ring ring* can you tell me how to catch up? ... ...

there's polar waiting for me, i havent start on matrices, got another compre to do before friday, integration assignment, alkene and alkane assignments... and no holidays soon so that i can catch up properly....

who are u trying to blame?

myself... for slacking through the hols... @#$%@#$%@

So?

So what? go back and study lah... #$%#$%

Happy New Year everybody... it's gonna be another long year ahead and i think that it's just going to go 'zoom' past me too fast, i wont even realise it...

anyways, met weien yesterday... talked about ministry next year... yes.. i know that somehow i have to commit more time to the church, but i also realise that i can serve in anywhere i am... things are just so icky sometimes there's no clear lines anywhere....

this year has been very busy and of course, i've met fantastic friends... in council, in class, in guitar... i want to cherish these friendships no matter where i go after this year... today's the first day.. and what's my new year resolution? to grow in Christ and to know Him better...

i suppose next year will be very fast and i wont be ever to treasure every moment... i really want to... it's my last year in high school... before i enter the ominous university... i just want to cherish every thing i have now... and freeze it into my memory so that it'll stay there til death do me apart... :D

yeap... happy new year ppl...

Moses, are u busy now? i'm back here to bug you...

yes i know.. thanks a lot... i've been busy lately, orientation and stuff, MSC, with lots and lots of things to worry about...

do u wish for these things to happen?

wad do u mean? isnt it inevitable that i'll be busy when i get back?! it's just another normal routine.

well... suits you...

okie... at least i'm having fun and enjoying myself in school. learning dance, learning new songs, singing away...

i suppose u have another long year ahead... so ya, i'll come to bug u once in a while...

NO.. u should go away... i need to study and i dont want to see a shrink... just let me study okie...

as u wish...

yes yes... i noe...
so Christmas is over... so soon?! have been quite busy nowadays... though it's like christmas? yeap... went to tp's church for christmas concert, along with duyang and zha.... on 23rd... was really surprised to see so many RJ ppl der... even yilin was there... also went for the lunch... felt some kinda out of place at first, because i barely know anyone from there... but yeah, things got better..

and FINALLY, i'm officially moved into BAYLEY!! back to my same old bed like last year... it's windy nowadays, as its the end of year... but i think it'll be realy bad when mid year comes... my place is the one that always faces the sun... during June i suppose... plus i'm not going back in June hols... wth lah...

i suppose sch will start soon... in 1 week's time... i still havent mastered the batch dance.... only the future dance... and revise solielas... and the script... and more dances.. and MSC... and new year... and sch starts... and common tests... and A levels... and finally i'm free from ALL burdens.. at least for now...

so yeah... things will be better... in the new year.... will it? Lord, guide my path, for i know that when i'm weak, You are strong, so that my weakness can be made perfect in Your power... thank You for coming down to earth more than 2 milenium ago and died for us, so that we can reunite with u... thank u so much...

merry christmas pple.. though it's a bit late...

finally back here and online..
yeap.. i got back to singapore... in one piece... at least that was what happened a few days ago... and i'm now so busy that i just cant really do anything fun... yea... i mean.. ORIENTATION is really fun wad.... it's REALLY REALLY FUN.. serious

learned the future storyline dance today... and i suppose that song is stuck in my head now i cant get it off...

'that makes u larger than life'!!!

okie wadeva...
'u're too thin mosie!!!' i know... why is everyone telling me that... not like i dun eat at all and not like i eat like bird... i EAT A LOT OK... and it's serious.. i just dont know why i'm still so THIN!! i suppose it's slim... :D

and i had to flip yumun today... 360 is really no joke... it really sounded very easy when dexter said it... and yeah... remember that i had one day backache after flipping Hide that day.... but... i still managed to flip yumun today!! and it's even recorded in vicki's cam!! whaha... i simply just LURV the dance... and the BATCH DANCE JUST ROCKS!!!

'u're too thin ah boy!!!' yes mum, i know that... did i grow fat when i come back? i dun noe...

'u're too thin, the guy in the mirror!!!' yes i know.... i will try to add weight.... TRY TO...

...
Insomnia? the symptoms below may show that you have insomnia!
dark eye rings. Check.
bad temper. Check..
tossing and turning in bed. Check.
watching tiger cup. Check!
play POP TWW TWICE. Check!!
B O R E D. Check!check!check!check!CHECK!!!!!!

Moses, i know u've been stranded at a god forsaken place for 2 weeks, with ABSOLUTELY nothing interesting to do, with no frens to hang out with, with no shopping centre to amuse you, with no entertainment other than tiger cup and POP, with only your dog and parents... but did u take your medicine today? or else, why are YOU TALKING TO ME?!

ok.. i finally admit i'm becoming schizophrenic. i have to see a shrink and take medicines. YEAH RITE... that will be the truth if i stay there for another 2 more weeks. i finally understood why people can be so anti social. i finally understood why people can become schizos. i finally understood why some people watch tiger cup.

and i'm finally going back. THANK GOD. dun get me wrong here... i'm not saying that msia is a lousy boring place to be.. i'll gladly stay at kl for the rest of my holidays... whahaha.. but to live at that place... even got infected with insomnia... @#%@%@#%$!!!

yeap... i think my parents realise it too... i was just wasting away.. literally deteriorating...
so, today's the last day here... i've reached kl already... think i'll miss it.. til CNY... not a very long period though.. hope that she can come back by then..

-wondering wondering- who's she?

SHUT UP u idiot... i havent seen her for a year already... it's LONG ENOUGH...

okie okie.. wadeva...

@#$@#$%.. i really need to see a shrink... here's just some things for fun.... -i'm damn bored-

abcdefghijklmnopqrstvwxyz.... abcdefghijklmnopqrstvwxyz.... abcdefghijklmnopqrstvwxyz..... :)

tata... i'll be back soon.. !!

this is a notice..
helping pple to promote some stuff.. here goes

http://www.blogger.com/app/ target="_blank">

Countdown @ Boon Lay 2005 - A fun-filled, action packed event to party away all your worries and usher in 2005! The biggest bash in the West, it boasts an impressive lineup of exciting acts, from sizzling Mediacorp artistes Fiona Xie and Jeanette Aw, awesome cheerdance performances to ultra slick break-dances guaranteed to get your heart racing, and feet moving! There will also be a special appearance of Singapore's rising homegrown star - Sylvester Sim! An excellent opportunity to catch Guest of Honour Mr Lim Swee Say in action, Countdown @ Boon Lay 2005 promises treats for everyone and anyone. Come join our party!

Date : 31st December 2004
Time : 6:30pm to 1 am

yup yup.. tata ppl

3 more days...
to? singapore? yeap!!! back to singapore... not exactly pleasant i say, but i need something to do and i desperately NEED to kill boredom... absolutely..... it's been so bored i'm blogging everyday and reading ppl's blog everyday... can u imagine that?!

almost never fail to come online everynite to do sth... wadeva it is to kill boredom since i finished POP TWW.... mayb i'll play it again or something... i suppose that gives me another reason not to wake up early in the morning... there's absolutely nothing i can do... cant even get online because the line is shared with the telephone, so i can only use it late at nite when nobody's going to call.. what an idiot...

to mr qiu: congrats!! u finally opened a blog!! well, i suppose for the same reason i'm blogging now... yeap!! i added u already and hope that u really have a great time b4 leavin for canada.... hey!! buy us sth there when u come back okie... whenever u do... we'll be watiting for presents... at least I WILL... :P

anw, today's better than yesterday i think... at least i went out to walk for a while instead of staying at home the whole day...

simple life can really kill us with boredom sometimes... relaxing? yeah.. and dying of boredom at the same time... if it's Kuching it would be so much different cuz i have all the freinds out ther to play with and have fun with... comin back to this place really makes me feel estranged... at least i still have friends in kl... but HERE?! i only have men's best friend...

so yeah, wad to do? i update my blog... everyday.. they dont even have a cinema nearby and i guess sometimes i really dun feel like comin back here... why dont i just stay at kl? good idea... it'll be good if SOMEONE is here though.. someone who's STUCK in aussie doing her PR!!

i'm pretty sure things will be good and bad at the same time on monday... hope i wont get into some OCD or sth... not exactly very pleasant... so tata...

c ya all folks...

another boring day...
it's so boring i changed my blogskin and yeap.. quite satisfied with it..

finally got an og name.. "A'pstraphi!!!" yup.. and it stems from the little dot that we always use, the ' . well, it's quite unique i must say... ROX to the core...

but anw, today practically did nothing... played with dog, played guitar, watch tv, did everything except work... and playing games.. guess i'm quite sick of it already.. and i finished it anyway...

i suppose things will be brighter tmr? at least not this boredom.. it'll kill me soon.. should go visit some where.. like Ipoh or something... ya, nearly went to Ipoh yesterday.. heard that it's quite near from here...

i seriously don't know where on earth do i live now.. this place is so ulu that it's somewhere between Ipoh and KL... do i live in KL? well, i do live in Selangor... so @$#%@$#%... nvm...

miss Kuching... a lot... my HOMETOWN... with ah kai and all.. haha.. lan at 2 sth in the morning, and talk cock til 6 at his house... that was last year... 1 year already.. how time flies.. just feels so sad when all the things brush past u, and sometimes u dont even realised that it passed...

another year ahead... bet it will be faster than last year.. and things will start to go haywire... especially when A's comin...

时间 时间 等等我
我有话要说 哦 我有话要说
请你 请你 告诉我
人生应该怎么过...

FINALLY... UPDATES!!!
okie... i admit that coming back here is pretty pretty boring sometimes... dunno wad to do and just play com games... yeap!! i'm a kampung boy!! so proud to be that.. at least i have my childhood preserved in my brain, and i get to taste the best old food that can only be found in kampung.... wad m i talking...

but anyways, it's GREAT to be back... bit boring, coz i didnt stay at kl for long... came back to sg besar.. some very kampung - ish place and relax... it's really a far cry from all the busyness and all the stress in the big cities... yeap.. even when u RELAX in the big cities... it's a total different world!!

so i guess i only have a few more days left here.. went to made my MyKad today.. quite cool.. msia going high tech... okie.. wadeva..

i can almost recite wad i do everyday... wake up at 12, brush teeth, QT, eat lunch.. okie.. maybe brunch... if there's nothing on, the com will be on til 4 -5 plus? it's a bit sad... yeah, but aft that, will bring the doggie out for a walk... HE'S DAMN CUTE... yeah. and pretty obedient as well.. well, at least to my dad.. not me... sadly, it'll leave soon, cuz my dad's allergy to dog's fur... sigh..

nvm.... i completed Prince of Persia: Sands of Time!! and of course, the sequel: POP: The Warrior Within... both are Fantastic!! to all those who never heard of the game... WHERE ARE YOU? MARS? okie.. maybe a bit overboard... but yeah, it's definitely two of the best games i've played...

will be going back on 20th... and even that, my parents are grumbling already... so i shant ask anymore... a bit late though... cant make it for the meeting.. i think...

FATE... can we really change our fate? is fate in our hands? there are just so many things in this world that is out of our control... is fate one of them?

"the empress has seen her future... and she is tortured by it, for the day of her death crept up to her unceasingly.." - Kaileena

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." - Philippians 4: 6 - 7

our lives are in God's hand... who better to trust than the Lord Himself? to those who played POP TWW, dun try to change your fate... or the Dahaka will be upon u... IN THE END... -yikes- i'm so soaked in the game...

yeap.. this is one of the longest entry i wrote i suppose.. one more thing: so GLAAAAAAD that grad nite's over... just to express some relief here... "SIGHHHHHHHHH"....

tata.. :)

Grad Nite
whew... it's been super busy these few days with storyline stuff and grad nite all comin at the same time... i suppose it will be busy til i get back to msia like 6th dec or sth... sigh.. dun even noe if i can get back on 6th dec... grad nite ends at round 2 sth am on 5th dec.. then i have to rush back and pack my 2 rooms asap before rushing off to the bus stop... that doesnt sound very possible...

well anyways, OGL pairing!!! i dunno.. just got quite excited bout it... actually me and bernasty were more like 'spontaneous' rather than careful planning...

"have u found a co-OGL?"
"errr.... no.."
"want to be?"
"well... should be ok..."
"so.. onnz??"
"ya!!"
".. i promise i'll learn the dance!!"
"okie..."

anyways, they say that OGL pairing may not be that simple... THEY say that its all up to the O ic.... well. better treat them well.. i already offended one... the hu-mu-hu-mu-nu-ku-nu-ku-a-pu-a-a queen troll... her name is quite scary.... tell me bout it man....

so.. tmr's grad nite working day... and... guitar practice... get the best for both? T_T...

tv!!

well, okie.. got into tv yesterday, doing some lame act.. but i guess it's a fun experience. and we got into tv again today... CNA and we're dancing soleila...

but anyways, it was quite fun these days, having rehearsal at new campus.. though its not really productive and it was REALLY dusty... in the end, it was quite fun... i suppose we have limited days in the old campus now.. must treasure it...

so i'm XDphi now.. promoted? i dunno... karl became Mox... (whahaha... :P) i guess next year's storyline rocks!!!

having a headache now.. well.. for the lack of sleep these few days i guess.... sigh...

busy...

all these days, it has been busy and busy and busy.. going to school almost everyday, and it really saps my energy.. it's suppose to be holidays... well, i guess there's always something to pay...

anyways, got contact with the entertainment company for grad nite.. they are just so plain funny.. ok.. may b a bit 'smmumy'.. no matter what u wanna interpret that word as.... but i guess this kinda ppl will do a good job on that day.. he was so confident... just give him a try then...

had guitar busking yesterday i think.. yeap yeap.. at first i thought it will be some very paiseh, sian thing to do... well, it turn out to be fine.. quite fine actually and the guitar ensemble actually collected the most i think... I THINK...

but that's not important... we all had fun i think and it's great.. we were actually talent scouted by some woman who ask if we wanna do christmas carolling... kinda surprised... but nothing can be more surprising than the Korean.. I THINK... who gave us 100 bucks for singing avril's 'knocking on heaven's door'.... waaaaw...

so i that's the high part... top chart of our songs that day.. knocking on heavens door... :)

msia!!
so i'm back... from the tiring trip.. thought that i could rest for the weekend, turn out that i was more tired than before...

ok ok.. i noe.. it's because of some new game i bought.. couldnt resist - NFS underground 2!!! i didnt even see it's poster or some advertising thing, but i found it in msia... what better place can u go...

but i guess that's just a small part of it lah.. been travelling around to melaka, tasted the FANTASTIC sate celup and the chicken rice balls... my stomache is grumbling now when i mention the names..

so i guess this is the most happening time i went back msia... as a tourist.. coz YH went back with me as a tourist... hahaha.. so fun..

i suppose it wouldnt be so fun next time i go back.. around Dec... but that's for me to rest... not to have so much fun.. i need the sea view and the calm, soothing wind to blow in my hair... with NO liners obstructing the sea views, watching the sun set like a giant ball sinking into the horizon... sigh.. dont have a cam...

anyways, i'll be starting to work tomorrow.. aww, that really is NOT pleasant.. but.. orientation is fun!!! wanna be a good OGL next year.. yup.. so better brush up and pay lotsa attention tomorroe... c, i shouldnt blog so late.. it's like 12 in the nite..

so.. tada.. :)